


Great White Gravity

by lakesandquarries



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, ango and his 2 dads, sad boys, sazed sucks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-13 07:44:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9113296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lakesandquarries/pseuds/lakesandquarries
Summary: "Well I guess this must come as some small relief, right? Like all this time you thought your transmutation, your reckless magic, had killed the town of Glamour Springs. In actuality it was...y’know, plain ol’ jealousy. But...still. All those people died.""The people of this town died all the same, and you fed them their deaths."In the aftermath of the goblet, Taako tries to deal.





	1. freeze frame on me

_Six years ago_

Two nights after Taako’s disastrous Glamour Springs show, Sazed cooks dinner.

It’s not much - Sazed’s never been a chef, after all. Sure, he can follow directions, but he’s useless without step-by-step instructions. Give him some chicken and spices and vegetables and an hour, and he’ll stare quizzically and give you half-cooked chicken with a carrot in it. 

“I’m not hungry,” Taako says, shoving the half-cooked chicken to the side.

“Taako, you have to eat.”

“No.”

“Ta-”

“ _No._ Gimme my recipe book.”

Sighed, Sazed passes it to him. It’s not a book, really, just a tattered old notebook he’s had since he was 12, with recipes and notes scribbled in the margins. He flips open to his Thirty Garlic Clove Chicken recipe, pouring over the ingredients list. 

What had he done wrong? Some of his recipes can be dangerous with the wrong measurements, but Thirty Garlic Clove Chicken isn’t one of them. Maybe it’d been a transmutation problem? Maybe he’d transmuted the wrong ingredient. Maybe he’d -

The elderberries.

He almost falls over when it hits him. The _fucking_ elderberries. He was normally so careful, but he and Sazed had had yet another fight earlier that night, and he was distracted, and he must’ve transmuted the dirt into nightshade instead.

And now, forty people are dead. Two days ago they were watching him cook, laughing, talking to their friends, and now they’re dead, and it’s his fault. He shuts his eyes hard trying to stop himself from crying. It doesn’t work.

“Taako?” Sazed says quietly, scooting closer to him, putting an arm on his shoulder. “You’re shaking. You sure you don’t want anything to eat?”

“I don’t want to eat,” Taako says, voice low and quiet and hard. “Look, Sazed...” He looks up at his constant companion over the last four years. Sazed looks back, and Taako remembers what it felt like when they first got started. When Sazed was happy to be his driver, when he looked at Taako like he was something beautiful and talented and precious, when they’d linger in towns just so they could stay at the inns and have sex after the show.

Now all they do is argue.

“Show’s over, Saze,” Taako says, standing up and walking away.

“No it’s not. We can rebuild, we can put this behind us!” He sounds so _eager._ Like this is nothing more than a pothole on the road to success.

“Forty people are _dead!_ ” Taako shouts, spinning on his heel to face Sazed again. “Word’ll spread! No one’s gonna come to a show ever again! We - _I_ \- I killed _forty fucking people,_ Sazed! There’s nothing _to_ rebuild!”

Sazed’s face goes hard. “Well then I guess there’s no reason for me to stick around, huh?”

“I guess not!”

“Fine,” Sazed spits. “ _Fine._ Wallow in your fucking grief. You’re a selfish asshole, you know that, right? This is all your fault.”

The sudden anger shocks Taako, and he takes a step back, before glaring at Sazed. “Fuck off.”

“I can’t believe I wasted so much time on you,” Sazed growls, turning away from Taako and packing his things. “You’ll regret this. I know you will.”

“Fuck. Off.”

Sazed doesn’t say another word, just gets into his carriage and drives away, leaving Taako with just a single bag of supplies, a worthless recipe book, and forty dead villagers worth of guilt.

\---

_Now_

A week after he gets back from Refuge, Taako lies on his bed in the reclaimer suite and stares at the ceiling.

He hasn’t dreamed of that night in a long time. Usually his nightmares prefer to pour over the incident itself, musing over what would've happened if he'd eaten the chicken. But this isn’t a dream, or a nightmare. Just a memory, one that's got a very different tone now.

One of the reasons he’d never let Sazed on his show was that the man was a horrible actor. He’d stumble over his words, stutter, pepper every sentence with awkward pauses and _uh’s_ and _um’s._

Well, Taako should’ve given him a fucking award for his performance of _Man Pretending He Wasn't Trying To Poison His Former Lover._

Fuck. He was such an idiot. That dinner Sazed had made, before he stormed off - that’d probably been poisoned too. Apparently, killing forty people hadn’t been enough. He’d been set on killing Taako, and when that didn’t work, he wanted to make sure Taako never had a cooking show again. All that, over a cooking show. Six years of not cooking, of barely eating, of guilt and regret and panic attacks, all because Sazed wanted the show to himself. 

Six years and it wasn't even his fucking fault. 

It was, though. 

If he'd paid more attention to Sazed, if he'd let him be a part of the show, if he'd paid more attention to the food, if he'd stopped being a self-centered idiot for five minutes, maybe - _maybe -_

He shakes his head, flopping an arm over his eyes. There's no time for maybes. He can't go back, even if he wanted to, even if he was willing to sacrifice every person he's managed to save and every shred of progress he's made. The goblet’s gone. 

Those people are still dead. There's no bringing anyone back, Kravitz had made that clear. 

...Kravitz. 

He rolls over onto his stomach, reaching for the bowl he’d made on their….something, and feels like an idiot again.

Kravitz is a bounty hunter for the goddess of death, and Taako is a shitty idiot wizard who’s only useful because he’s too stupid to be corrupted. Kravitz was just trying to be nice, probably. 

_“I’m worried no one else would have me,”_ he remembers saying. He’d been talking about finding work, but it fits pretty well for the rest of his life. What person would be interested in _him_? He’s a mess, has no actual skills, and half the time he's on long dangerous adventures. He's attractive, sure, but that doesn't help much when he's away most of the time. 

Sighing, he puts the bowl down and pushes himself up. He knows better than to do this. He knows better than to get attached, to consider that maybe this time it'll be different. It won't be. Maybe Kravitz will think he's hot, maybe they'll make out a few times, but - he's not stupid. Everyone leaves, eventually. His parents, his aunt, Sazed... Even Magnus and Merle won't stick around forever. Even Angus will realize he's not worth caring about. 

As quietly as he can, Taako gets out of bed and makes his way to the kitchen, grabbing his cloak and hat on the way. He heads past the tiny reclaimer suite kitchen, straight for the main kitchen, and hits it with Knock, slipping inside quickly. He leaves the door open - it's loud when it shuts. 

He can do this. 

He makes a beeline to the fridge, grabbing whatever he can, a vague idea forming in his head. Chicken, vegetables, spices, garlic - everything he needs is here. Everything but elderberries. With shaking hands, he digs out a head of lettuce - old, from the looks of it, soggy and wilting. He waves the Umbra Staff. 

Green turns to purple. Leaves split apart, then split further, until the lettuce is gone, replaced with a plate of elderberries. 

He drops the first one, and the second. On the third try, his hands are steady enough to bring a berry to his lips, but it's a solid two minutes before he closes his eyes and shoves it in his mouth. 

He barely tastes it as he chews. He swallows, waiting for some kind of bitterness, or sharpness, or burning, but no. They’re just elderberries. 

It wasn’t his fault. 

A hysterical noise, something between a laugh and a sob, tears out of his throat. _It wasn’t his fucking fault._ He hadn’t done anything wrong. The food he’d made had been _fine_ , or it would’ve been, if it wasn’t for Sazed. If it wasn’t for Taako being an idiot so high on his own success he didn’t notice the one person he cared for changing into someone unrecognizable. 

It doesn’t matter whose fault it was, in the end. 

_“Well I guess this must come as some small relief, right?”_ June’s - no, the goblet’s words echo in his head. He’d nearly punched her when she’d said that. _“Like all this time you thought your transmutation, your reckless magic, had killed the town of Glamour Springs. In actuality it was...y’know, plain ol’ jealousy. But...still. All those people died.”_ She’d paused, to dig the knife a bit deeper, to show him the carefree Taako of six years ago, cheerfully handing out samples. 

_“The people of this town died all the same, and you fed them their deaths.”_

Whoever had ruined the food, he’d still been the one to hand it out. He’d fed them their deaths. His legs feel shaky underneath him, and slowly Taako sinks to the floor. 

_You fed them their deaths,_ his mind whispers on repeat. His face feels wet. _You fed them their deaths. You fed them their deaths. You fed -_

“Sir?” a quiet voice asks, and Taako nearly falls over. He whirls to face the voice, only to find Angus kneeling down next to him.

“Angus?” he says, cringing at how brittle his voice sounds. He clears his throat. “I mean, uh, Agnes, what’re you doing here? You’re like six, shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“My room’s by the kitchen,” Angus says, hands fidgety. “Miss The Director put me there so I could keep an eye out - well, ear out - for anyone sneaking into the kitchen. I’ve got pretty good hearing, you know. It’s an important part of being a detective.”

“I just...came for a quick snack,” Taako says, wiping his face on his sleeve. “It’s cool, my dude. Go back to sleep.”

“I’m the world’s greatest detective, sir. Please don’t try to lie to me. There’s food all over the counter, but nothing that would make a ‘quick snack.’”

Fuck. The kid’s too clever for his own good.

“...Do you remember when I told you about... why I don’t cook much?” Taako asks. Angus nods. “Well, uh, I recently found out some… new information. Apparently, the poisoning wasn’t actually my fault.”

“Isn’t that a good thing, sir?”

“Well, yes. But it….doesn’t really change much, y’know? I still…” _(you fed them their deaths.)_ “I still served 40 people poisoned food.” His face feels wet again. Fuck.

“Oh,” is all Angus says, and then he hugs Taako.

“Ango,” Taako says, but Angus squeezes tighter and fuck, okay, maybe it’s kinda nice. Just a little. Maybe.

“I’m sorry, sir,” Angus says, pulling his arms away after a moment, “I just thought - oof!”

Taako pulls him into a hug this time. “It’s cool, my dude,” he says, sitting back on his heels and ruffling Angus’s hair. He looks around the kitchen. “Whadyou say I whip you up something? A little midnight snack?”

“I thought you said you don’t cook for - oh,” Angus says, sounding hurt, and Taako quickly backpedals.

“No no, not like that! I just thought...well, maybe I can cook for people again. It wasn’t my fault, after all. I didn’t do shit.”

_(you fed them their deaths.)_

“Oh,” Angus says again, giving Taako a tentative smile. “Just...a little snack.”

“What’re you in the mood for, kid?” Taako asks, standing up and putting away the chicken and garlic and elderberries. Those aren’t a snack, and, well, he’s not ready for that recipe. Not yet, anyways.

“Cookies?” Angus says, adjusting his glasses, standing up as well. 

“You got it,” Taako says, shooting Angus a grin. “Take a seat, I know _just_ the thing.”

He spends the next twenty minutes flying through the kitchen, while Angus watches him with stars in his eyes. He doesn’t transmute anything, but he can’t help it - he shows off. Not much, just a couple uses of mage hand to bring an ingredient closer, but Angus looks ecstatic. It helps, a little, to have an audience. Angus’s smile wards off the anxiety, stops the words _(you fed them their deaths)_ from repeating over and over. Just a bit. Just enough. Turns it from a radio on full volume to a radio on low volume. Not muted, no, but quiet enough that he can ignore it. Quiet enough that he can breathe.

At the end, he pops them in the stove, and with a dramatic cape swish, sits next to Angus. “And now comes the hard part - we wait.”

Angus’s legs swing excitedly. “How long, sir?”

“Just ten minutes, Ango. I know what we can do while we wait, you can show me the latest spell you’ve been working on. You’ve been working on Mage Hand, right?”

Angus nods, looking pleased Taako remembered. He’d taken a while to come back to Mage Hand. His first try had been….pretty horrifying, after all. Angus takes a deep breath, shuts his eyes, and focuses. A wispy blue hand appears, similar to Angus’s first try, this time with all its fingers.

Taako gives a low whistle and claps, quietly. _“Nice.”_

Angus beams. “You really think so?”

“Hell yeah,” he says, ruffling the kid’s hair again. “Fucking _excellent._ Now, let’s see those cookies, shall we? Think you can mage hand one off the tray?” 

Angus looks thoughtful, then nods, a look of steely determination coming over his face. Taako grins, sliding out of his chair to open the oven. Angus shuts his eyes again, then realises he needs to see what he’s doing and opens them, squinting. The hand slowly creeps toward the tray, but the instant it touches the cookie, it dissolves, along with Angus’s expression.

“Hey, not too shabby,” Taako says, pulling the tray out and putting the cookies on a plate. “You got all five fingers, and made it move. Pretty damn good, in my book.”

“Really?” Angus asks, eyes going wide.

“Really. Now eat your cookies while they’re still all moist and crumbly and melty.” He pops one in his mouth, making an exaggerated _mmm_ noise. Angus takes a cookie and nibbles on it, which, okay, is kind of adorable.

He’s not getting attached to the kid. Absolutely not.

“Thanks, mister Taako,” Angus says. Taako definitely doesn’t feel any affection towards him.

“Don’t mention it, kid. Like, really, don’t mention it. Can’t let word get out that I know how to make cookies, right?”

“So...is this a secret?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Secret cookies,” Angus whispers, kicking his legs again. “Got it. Secret Cookies.”

“Secret Cookies,” Taako says. (He’s not getting attached. Nope.) Angus yawns, and Taako laughs. “You should go back to sleep, my dude.”

“Can we do this again?” Angus asks, looking shyly at Taako.

He shouldn’t. Because what if next time he _does_ screw up? What if he kills the kid? But Angus is looking at him with big sad eyes, made bigger by his ridiculous glasses, and Taako can’t say no.

“Hell yeah. Cooking _and_ magic lessons. You’ll be my fuckin’ heir.”

Angus cheers - well, whisper-cheers. 

“I’m gonna do some cleaning up, but then you gotta get back to your room, kay?”

“Okay, sir,” Angus says, finishing his cookie.

Taako puts everything in the sink, puts the ingredients away, sweeps a little. Nothing too major. He puts the cookies in a bag - can’t let food go to waste, after all.

“Okay, kid, time to get moving,” he says, but when he turns, Angus is asleep at the table.

He’s just doing this so the Director doesn’t find out, he tells himself, as he picks up Angus and brings him with him to the Reclaimer Suite. He’s not getting attached. He doesn’t let himself get attached. Not after his parents, not after his aunt.

Not after Sazed.

But...well. Things change, don’t they? He’s got Magnus and Merle, now. He went on a date for the first time in six years. He’s agreed to teach a child how to cook.

Maybe it is a comfort, to know it wasn’t his fault. Maybe now he can finally move on.

He sets Angus on his bed and looks around his room, with its shelves carved by Magnus, and potted plant grown by Merle in the corner, and the bag of cookies on the counter, and the sheer _Taako-ness_ of the room, and wonders if he’s already started.


	2. oh can you read it on my face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shout out to juicywizards.tumblr.com for their FANTASTIC fanart!!!  
> http://lakesandquarries.tumblr.com/post/155183762091/here-it-is-i-hope-you-like-it-aaaaaaaaaaaaaa  
> i haven't stopped screaming since i saw it tbh???

In the morning, Taako remembers why he never shares a bed with anyone.

For one thing, it inevitably ends with someone on the floor. He wakes up with his face pushed against the carpet, fibers probably being absorbed into his face. He does _not_ have enough cleanser for this. Sighing, he pushes himself up, cringing at the feeling of lint clinging to his face. 

_Ugh._

Angus, meanwhile, is curled up in Taako’s bed. Taako’s big, beautiful, soft bed. He's even cuddling with Taako's sleep sack. 

Whatever. It's not like he needs any more sleep. He stands, stretching his limbs and wincing at the series of _cracks_ and _pops_. He takes a moment to glance in his mirror, trying to brush the carpet bits off his face, making sure his hair looks decent, adjusting his lacy pink nightgown. 

He leaves Angus. Kids need sleep, right? Probably. 

As he walks into the living room, Magnus waves. “Yo,” he calls. “You sleep well?”

“Yeah,” Taako says. It's only a half lie, really. 

“Then why did I hear the door open at like, four am?”

….fuck. 

“Uh,” Taako says, twisting one of his rings. “Look, Magnus -”

“You don't have to lie,” Magnus says. “I get it. Nightmares, right?”

“...maybe,” Taako admits. 

Magnus stands and walks over to Taako. Elves are supposed to be taller than humans, but Magnus is tall and Taako's short, and Magnus is almost exactly a head taller than him. 

Magnus holds his arms out, a wordless offering, but Taako makes a show of rolling his eyes and huffing before he accepts the hug. Magnus is good at hugs. He's like a dog, almost, big and soft and sometimes a little scary looking until you realize all he wants is to be friends. Taako lets Magnus envelop him, leaning all his weight on the human until Magnus is basically holding him up. 

It's...nice. He'd never admit it out loud, of course, but there's something nice about letting someone else hold him. He lets himself zone out, shutting his eyes. 

He wakes up two hours later, on the couch, Magnus still holding him. 

“Heyyy,” Magnus says, patting Taako's hair. “You fell asleep hugging me.”

“I'm dead,” Taako says. “This is the worst thing to ever happen to me.”

Magnus pets his hair. Taako longs for death’s sweet embrace. 

….speaking of. He sits up quickly, nearly falling off the couch. There’s a half-formed idea in the back of his head, working its way to actual thought. 

Kravitz is dead. Therefore, if Taako fed him poisoned food, he’d be totally fine. _And_ Taako could spin it as a romantic date, instead of him being a fucked up mess. 

It’s perfect. A grin makes its way onto his face, and Magnus looks at him.

“Taako? You okay there bud?”

“Peachy,” Taako says. “I just had the _best_ idea.”

“You wanna share, or…?”

“Nope!” Taako shouts, shoving himself off of Magnus and rushing to his room. He ignores Angus, still asleep on the bed, and digs through the pockets of his cape. 

“Where is it, where is it…” he mutters, wishing he kept his pockets neater. Finally, underneath three candy wrappers and a ring, he finds what he’s looking for - his Stone of Farspeech. He glances at Angus before he calls Kravitz.

“Yo, Kravitz, my dude, you there?” Not his best opening, but whatever. He can work with it.

“Taako?” Kravitz asks.

“Got it in one. I was wonderin’ if you’d maybe like to….Come stop by? Hang out?”

Kravitz is silent on the other end. 

_Shit,_ Taako thinks. _Shit, shit shit._

“Is this for business, or for pleasure?” Kravitz asks. 

Taako grins. “Pleasure,” he tells Kravitz, voice smooth and with no trace of the panic he was feeling just a few seconds ago.

Kravitz makes a noise. Taako’s not entirely sure what it means - confusion, maybe? But he continues on. “I was thinking, our last…. _Meeting_ ended kinda abruptly, right? So maybe you could do you little rift thing again, come over at….well, time’s a little weird up on the moonbase, but let’s say in six hours?”

“Oh,” Kravitz says. “I would…” He mumbles something about jobs he has, and Taako can hear him flip through some papers and write something down, and finally Kravitz speaks again. “I can’t get there for nine hours,” he says, sounding genuinely sorry. “Would that be alright?”

“Yeah, that’d work,” Taako says, trying his best to sound like he doesn’t even care if Kravitz takes nine hours or three or two days. Gotta be cool.

“So. It’s a date, then?” Kravitz asks.

“It’s a date. Wear something nice,” Taako says, and Kravitz snorts. 

“I’ll see you then, Taako.” Kravitz ends the call.

Nine hours. He can definitely be ready by then. He just has to get everyone of the suite, take a long shower, make sure he looks perfect, and cook an entire meal.

He can do this.

“Sir?”

Oh, fuck.

“Who was that?” Angus asks, tilting his head at Taako.

“How much did you hear?” Taako asks in response. 

“Are you really going on a date, sir?” he asks, with a face that can only be described as “delighted”.

“Hells yeah,” Taako says, grinning at Angus. 

“Who’s it with? Do I know them? Are they nice? Are they part of the Bureau? Are they -”

“Woah, woah, Ango, slow down. You don’t know him, he’s cool, and he’s not part of the Bureau.”

Angus frowns. “But if he’s not part of the Bureau, why’re you inviting him here? _How_ are you inviting him? The Director won’t be happy, if she finds out.”

“Um,” Taako says. “Well, uh….He’s aware of the Bureau? It’s complicated, don’t worry yourself about it.”

“It’s okay if you don’t wanna tell me,” Angus says. “What’s his name?”

“I’ll tell you his name but you gotta promise not to tell anyone else. Okay?”

Angus nods, rolling his eyes. 

“His name is Kravitz. And _no one_ can know about that, okay?”

“Okay, okay. Can I meet him?”

“Maybe some other day.” Probably never.

“Okay!” Angus says, still looking delighted. Taako grins at him. 

“Now, you gotta go back to your room, cause _I_ need to prepare.” He makes a motion to push Angus and the boy nods, scurrying off the bed. He glances back at Taako, hand on the doorknob.

“Thanks, Sir,” he says quietly, a tentative smile on his face. Taako’s about to say something snarky, but he stops himself.

“Anytime, Ango,” he says, and Angus nods at him before slipping out of the room.

\----

As it turns out, nine hours is _just_ enough time. Taako takes an hour long bath, first, then takes another half hour just to dry off and fix his hair, and then it’s two hours to get dressed and do makeup, leaving him with five and a half hours to cook and get Magnus and Merle out of the suite.

Which, speaking of, he has an idea.

“Angus!” he says as he turns his Stone to Angus’s channel. “Ango, I need your help!”

“What do you need?” Angus says a moment later, sounding slightly out of breath.

“I need you to get Mags and Merle out of the suite.”

“I can do that, Sir!” Angus says cheerfully. “I’m great at distracting people. It’s an important part of being a detective! How long, and when?”

“As long as you can. I won’t need you to for another couple of hours, but I’m gonna need them _gone._ Can’t have those bozos screwing up my date.”

Taako can practically hear Angus nod. “Okay! Call me when you need me!” he says, and then, almost as an afterthought, he adds, “I love you!” and hangs up.

Fuck him, Taako might think he loves the kid back. He quickly takes his feelings and pushes them as far down as possible. Fuck that shit.

This is no time for _feelings._ It’s time for cooking.

He shoos Merle and Magnus out of the kitchen, quite literally, and makes a frankly unreasonable amount of food. Some of it is the kind of simple shit he makes Merle and Magnus all the time, which he nearly throws at them. While they’re eating round one he makes a quick call to Angus, telling him to do his thing

“You’re in a mood,” Merle comments as a sandwich nearly hits him in the face. 

“Hello, Sirs!” Angus says as he opens to door to the suite. 

“Oh god,” Merle says. “Who invited _him?_ ”

Angus’s shoulders slump. “I just wanted to ask you guys for some help…” he says quietly.

“What d’you need, Ango?” Magnus asks, ruffling the boys hair. Angus grins at Taako, and Taako gives him a thumBs up before vanishing back into the kitchen.

“I wanted to ask if you and Merle would….train me, maybe?” He whispers the last part, still loud enough that Taako can hear, continuing with, “I know Taako already is but he can only train me in _magic_ and I wanna learn other stuff too!”

“Ugh,” Merle complains. 

“Shush,” Magnus says. “Of course, Angus! Wanna go to the icosagon?”

“Yes!” Angus says, and Taako doesn’t have to look to know there’s stars in Angus’s eyes. He listens to Merle make a few more half-assed protests before the sound of the door closing and then blissful silence.

The silence lasts about ten seconds, immediately replaced by the sound of cooking and Taako’s loud, off-key singing. 

He goes for something kinda simple. Pasta. 

From scratch.

So, okay, not _that_ simple. He’s got the dough ready when he realizes he has no way to flatten it into actual noodle shapes. He takes a deep breath.

Okay. He just has to reshape them with magic. It’s not even transmutation magic. He can do this.

It takes him twenty minutes to reshape the dough into noodles.

He leaves the noodles for now, letting them sit, and getting started on his sauce. Just a simple marinara tonight. 

He can do this, he reminds himself, shutting his eyes and transmuting a cut in half tomato into a whole tomato.

Everything will be _fine._

It’s incredible how much someone can cook in three hours. By the time all the food is ready, he has half an hour to set the table, which he manages in fifteen minutes, leaving him with _just_ enough time to have a panic attack.

What if it tastes awful? What if he someone manages to kill an already dead man? What if Kravitz realizes how stupid and awful and pathetic he is? 

_Stop,_ he thinks. He can’t start crying now, he’ll ruin his makeup and he absolutely does not have the time to redo it all. He takes a deep breath, then another, than a third, until he’s breathing like a normal person again. 

He’s fine. It’s fine. Everything. Is. _Fine._

….probably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GET READY Y'ALL NEXT CHAPTER IS GONNA BE GAY!!!


	3. data mining from old memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE DATE IS HERE!!!

Kravitz arrives a couple minutes later with his usual dramatics. A tear appears in the space in front of Taako, followed by a _very_ handsome man with dark skin and darker hair stepping out. Taako gives an appreciative whistle.

“Hey there, handsome,” he says, holding up his head with his hand, conjuring the slightest of breezes so his hair looks absolutely perfect.

Kravitz looks taken aback as he holds up his hands and lets his scythe dissolve. Taako is loving the dramatics. “This looks fantastic, Taako,” he says.

“Made it myself,” Taako says with a wink.

“All of it?” Kravitz asks, his beautiful and slightly creepy eyes going wide.

“All of it. ‘Cept the wine, I bought that.” He leaves out the part where he bought it a month ago at Fantasy Costco.

“Wow,” Kravitz says.

“Take a seat, my dude, dig in,” Taako says, waving his hand over the food with a flourish. 

Kravitz smiles at him, a little awkward, and sits down. It’s a good thing Magnus built all the chairs in the suite, as Kravitz is at least as tall as him. Plus, he’s got wide shoulders and muscular arms (or at least, the parts Taako can see are muscular), and the rest of him is probably just as bad, and Taako desperately wants to rip off this boy’s ridiculous tie and fancy shirt, because _damn._

Patience, he reminds himself. “Good things come to those who wait,” or some shit. He gives Kravitz another flirty grin and wink, passing him the wine bottle. “Will you do the honour?” he asks, and Kravitz seems confused for a moment.

“Oh! Right,” he says. He picks up the corkscrew and uncorks the bottle in one smooth, graceful movement, then pours the wine into two cups. Taako picks his up, holding it out. 

“A toast,” he says. 

“To what?” Kravitz asks, holding his cup up.

“Fuck, I don’t know. To all this shit I cooked.”

Kravitz laughs, and fuck if that isn’t a sound Taako wants to hear again and again. His laughter isn’t like the rest of him. It’s not fancy and proper. It’s just….it’s _genuine._ Unfiltered and raw. 

Taako realizes he’s staring, and quickly drains his cup. He gets up, grabs a plate, and starts piling spaghetti onto it, setting it back down on the table.

“Only one plate,” he says, with yet another wink. Kravitz frowns.

“You don’t have more plates?” 

Taako waves his hand dismissively. “One’s _plenty._ ” He’s not entirely sure his winking is still voluntary at this point. He probably looks like an idiot, one eye constantly winking at Kravitz and insisting there’s also one plate and _fuck,_ has Kravitz even _seen_ Lady and the Tramp?

Now’s not the time for panic, he reminds himself. Bottle that shit up. 

He looks at Kravitz, who has begun eating with serious enthusiasm. Still trying to seem all fancy and proper, yes, but he keeps looking at Taako like he’s worried he’s gonna get caught doing something stupid.

Taako very deliberately grabs the opposite end of a noodle that Kravitz has in his fork and starts slurping it.

Kravitz bursts into laughter, dropping his fork. “Is _that_ why you insisted on one plate?” he asks, putting his hand to his mouth to stifle his laugh. “Are you trying to re-enact Lady and the Tramp?”

“Uh, _yeah,_ ” Taako says. “What other reason is there to eat spaghetti on a date?”

“You may have a point,” Kravitz says, still chuckling. “You are a very…interesting person, Taako.”

“You’re not bad yourself,” Taako says.

“And you’re quite the chef. I haven’t eaten food in a fairly long time, I’ll admit, but this is _exquisite._ ”

_(“This is exquisite,” Sazed had said one night. They’d been travelling for half a year together, but Sazed was still just as complimentary as he’d been the night they met, always lavishing Taako with praise._

_“You’re exquisite,” he’d continued, a slow smile spreading across his face, and Taako had smiled back. They had a room at an inn that night, a nice one, with only one bed, and Sazed had repeated himself once they were under the covers - “you’re exquisite, you’re beautiful, you’re amazing” - and Taako had soaked it up like it was genuine._

_They’d had spaghetti that night. Sazed’s lips had tasted like marinara, and his cheeks had been red to match, and it’d seemed like nothing bad could ever happen.)_

“Taako?” Kravitz asks, voice breaking through Taako’s thoughts. “Are you alright?”

No, he’s not. He’s _never_ okay, but he nods anyways. Kravitz looks concerned, taking another bite of pasta.

Another bite of food Taako had made. He’d transmuted that tomato, he’d used magic on the noodles, what was he _thinking?_ Kravitz loads up another forkful and this time Taako reaches out and snatches the fork away before he can eat it.

“Taako?” Kravitz says, looking concerned. 

“I used magic to make this!” Taako nearly shouts. “It’s not - oh god, I’m such an idiot, why did I think this was a good idea? I might’ve fucked it up, I probably fucked it up!”

“Ta-”

“Are you feeling okay? Fuck, I knew this was a bad idea, I knew this was a mistake, I tried to act like this was some fuckin’ romantic garbage but actually I’m just an asshole and I thought I’d cook for you cause if I fuck up you’re already dead! God, what a fucking dick thing to do, right? Fuck.” He’s babbling, he can tell, but he can’t stop the words from pouring out. He shuts his eyes, half to keep from crying, half to keep from having to look at Kravitz.

“What are you-” Kravitz starts, but Taako interrupts.

“I used to be a professional chef, had a cooking show and everything, but then I fucked everything up and killed forty people, except it wasn’t actually my fault, except it was, and now I’m scared to cook anything but I’m so fucking _tired_ of being scared! And -”

“Taako!” Kravitz says, loudly. “Taako, _stop._ I can barely understand what you’re saying.”

“I killed forty people,” Taako says.

“I know,” Kravitz says.

“I - Hold on. _What?_ ”

“Taako, I work for the goddess of death. We have files on everyone, and if someone was involved in the death of another, that goes into their file. I may have…..done some digging, before I actually met with you and your friends. And when I looked at your file, that specific incident was mentioned.”

“So it was my fault,” Taako murmurs.

“No, it wasn’t. It was that...other man’s. Your file merely labels you a witness and accidental accomplice.”

“Huh,” is all Taako says to that. 

“None of those deaths were on you, Taako.”

“Okay,” Taako says, feeling very small and embarrassed.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Taako says, and then Kravitz places his hand on Taako’s and he looks up.

“It’s alright if you aren’t,” he says, voice soft and smooth. “I understand. We can…take things slowly, yes?”

“Sure,” Taako says. “If that’s what you need, I mean. I’m fine. But if you want to take things slow, yeah, I can work with that.”

“Okay.” Kravitz moves his hand, leaning back in his chair. He keeps an eye on Taako as he takes his fork back. “Is it alright if I keep eating?”

“Yeah, yeah, go ahead.”

Kravitz returns to his food, looking up at Taako again after a moment. “How was your day?” he asks, and Taako rolls his eyes and tells him about waking up on the floor and falling asleep on Magnus, which reminds him of a different story when Magnus tripped over a napping Merle, and slowly things start to feel good again.

Talking to Kravitz is easy. Comfortable. He laughs at the right moments (and _god_ his laugh is cute) and his face is so beautifully expressive as he listens.

“So, Merle fell off, and I knew the _perfect_ spell, so I made a _phantom steed_ appear, his name is Garyl and he’s beautiful, and -”

Kravitz’s Stone of Farspeech starts to make noise. A _lot_ of noise. Kravitz goes red and takes it out of his pocket.

“Yes? But - Yes, I know, I know. I - Okay. I’ll be there in half an hour? Okay. Thank you.”

“Gotta go?” Taako asks.

“Unfortunately,” Kravitz sighs, standing up. “But before I go….” He walks to Taako’s chair, placing his hand on Taako’s jaw, and he melts. “Taako, can I kiss you?”

“Oh, _hell yes,_ ” Taako says, and Kravitz leans in. 

His lips are freezing, almost icy, like kissing an ice cube. But not in an unpleasant way. He tastes like smoke and pasta and cold, and his mouth feels soft, and Taako doesn’t pull away until he absolutely has to. 

Kravitz puts his hand on his lips, like being kissed might have changed their texture. He seems almost dazed, smiling absently.

“Krav?” Taako asks, and he shakes his head. 

“Right, yes. I need to go. Can I see you again?”

“Yeah, but it might be a few days before I can think of another way to keep Magnus and Merle out.”

“You do realize I can tear holes in the fabric of space and bring you anywhere you want, right?”

“Uh, no? But that opens up a whole new world of possibilities, so nice.” He presses a kiss to Kravitz’s cheek. “I’ll come up with something good. Really good. And no, uh, emotional breakdowns. Just some sweet makeouts and all that good shit.”

Kravitz kisses Taako’s forehead. Taako dies, a little. “It’s alright to have emotions, Taako. I’ll be seeing you, then?”

“Definitely,” Taako says, and Kravitz nods, stepping away from him, his scythe materializing in his hands. He rips a tear in the air in front of him, and with a final glance back at Taako, disappears into it.

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first non undertale fic i've written in like two years and it's sad sappy garbage.
> 
> my tumblr is lakesandquarries.tumblr.com and i'm always up to talk about taz so pls....hmu. i love these dirty, rowdy boys
> 
> title from "lifeline" by imogen heap


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